If YHVH (YAH-WHEY) has called you to be really like Messiah in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility and put on you such demands of obedience, that He will not allow you to follow other Believers and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.
Other Believers and ministers who seem very religious and useful may push themselves, pull wires and work schemes to carry out their plans, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from YHVH as to make you sorely penitent.
Others can brag on themselves, on their work, on their success, on their writings, but the Spirit of the Father will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.
Others will be allowed to succeed in making great sums of money, or having a legacy left to them or in having luxuries, but YHVH may supply you daily, because He wants you to have something far better than gold, and that is helpless dependence on Him, that He may have the privilege of providing your needs day by day out of the unseen treasury.
YHVH may let others be honored, and put forward, and keep you hid away in obscurity, because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade.
YHVH will let others be great, but keep you small. He will let others do a work for Him, and get the credit for it, but He will make you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when Messiah comes. The Spirit of the Father will put a strict watch on you with a jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feelings or for wasting your time, which other Believers never seem distressed over.
So make up your mind that YHVH is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do as He pleases with His own, and He will not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason in His dealings with you. YHVH will take you at your word; and if you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and let other people say and do many things that you cannot do or say. Settle it forever, that you are to deal directly with YHVH through the Messiah, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hands, or closing your eyes, in ways that others are not dealt with.
Now when you are so possessed with the living Creator that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the King of the Universe over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven.
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