DID YOU KNOW that one of the most serious offenses a mother can commit against her children is to belittle their father and make him small in their eyes?
Even if she is trying to be Torah observant and he isn’t, what does 1 Peter 3:1 say? “Likewise, wives, submitting yourselves to (your) own husbands, that even if any disobey the Word, through the behavior of the wives, without a word they will be won, observing your pure behavior in fear.”
And how does Paul describe a good wife and mother?
In his letter to Titus (2:3-5), he tells them, “ . . . aged (women) likewise reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not being enslaved by much wine, teachers of good, that they might train the young (women) to be lovers of husbands, lovers of children, discreet, chaste, house-workers, good, subject to (their) own husbands, so that the Word of YHVH may not be blasphemed.”
To really understand the depth of these verses, let’s look at some of the definitions, which are excerptions from Thayer’s and Strong’s:
discreet, Strong’s #4998 (Greek)
• of a sound mind, sane, in one's senses
• curbing one's desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate
chaste, Strong’s #53 (Greek)
• pure from carnality, chaste, modest
• pure from every fault, immaculate
house workers, Strong’s #3626 (Greek)
• caring for the house and working at home
• keeper of the house
good, Strong’s #18 (Greek)
• of good constitution or nature
• useful, salutary
• good, pleasant, agreeable, joyful, happy
• excellent, distinguished
• upright, honorable
being subject, Strong’s #5293 (Greek)
• to arrange under, to subordinate
• .to subject one's self, obey
• to submit to one's control
• to yield to one's admonition or advice
• a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and
carrying a burden
• (from #5021) to appoint mutually, i.e. agree upon
Listed under chaste are two words that require closer scrutiny: pure and clean.
ethically pure and clean, (same number) Strong’s #2513 (Greek)
• free from corrupt desire, from sin and guilt
• free from every admixture of what is false, sincere, genuine
• blameless, innocent
• unstained with the guilt of anything
The way each of us can become the wife and mother YHVH created us to be is to study the Word and follow it in obedience. In the Messianic Writings this is called washing by the water of the Word.
That’s why the most important words in Titus 2:3-5 are at the end of verse 5: ”that the Word of YHVH may not be blasphemed.” Honoring her husband is honoring YHVH, because to obey her husband is to obey the Word of YHVH; and dishonoring her husband is blaspheming the Word of YHVH, because she disobeys it. The wife’s conduct reflects who is foremost in her life.
In 1 Peter 3:1-6, Peter instructed wives on proper conduct: “Likewise, wives, submitting yourselves to (your) own husbands, that even if any disobey the Word, through the behavior of the wives, without a word they will be won, observing your pure behavior in fear. Of whom let it not be the outward (act) of braiding of hairs, and of putting gold around, or of clothing, garments of adornment, but the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible (adornment) of the meek and quiet spirit which is of great value before El. For so once indeed the holy women (who were) hoping on El adorned themselves, submitting themselves to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him master; whose children you became, doing good, and fearing no terror.”
Why are wives instructed to be submissive to their husbands?
“Wives, subject yourselves to (your) own husbands, as to the Master, because a husband is head of the wife, as also the Moshiach is Head of the Assembly (of called-out ones), and He is Savior (Deliverer) of the body. But even as the Assembly is subject to the Moshiach, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24
Our families are supposed to operate exactly like the family of YHVH. The head of the family, the husband, has the responsibility to teach his family the Torah, the instructions we have been given to live by. The mother has the same responsibility that has been given to a mature believer. The mature believer is to teach the “baby” believers, just as the mother is to teach her young children, by her words and her conduct.
If you were not reared in the Torah, this family life will not come overnight. It is a process, line upon line, precept upon precept; but if your desire is to be obedient, and you put into practice everything you learn, you will begin to reap the rewards of an abundant life.
“Who can find a woman of virtue? For her value is far above jewels.
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, so that he has no lack of gain.
“She deals good with him, and not evil, all the days of her life.
”She seeks wool and flax, and she works with her palms with delight.
“She is like the merchant ships, she brings in her food from afar.
“She also rises while it is still night and gives game to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
“She has examined a field and takes it; she plants a vineyard from the fruit of her hands.
“She has girded her loins with strength, and has made her arms strong.
“She tastes whether her gain is good; her lamp is not put out by night.
“She has sent forth her hands on the distaff, and her palms have held the spindle.
“She spreads out her palms to the poor, yea, she stretches out her hands to the needy.
“She does not fear from the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
“She makes herself ornamental coverings; her clothing is bleached (linen) and purple.
“Her husband is known in the gates when he sits with the elders of the land.
“She makes fine linen garments, and sells, and she delivers girdles to the merchants.
“Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice at the day to come.
“She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue.
“She watches the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, for he praises her.
“Many are the daughters who act with virtue, but you rise above them all!
“Charm may be deceitful, and beauty vanity, but a woman who fears YHVH, she shall be praised.
“Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”